For a while I have wanted to set up a blog. Well, not actually wanted to, so much as I have been guided to write a blog on multiple occasions and I have doubted, resisted, been unsure and given up! Until now. My inner dialogue generally goes along the lines of ‘Start a blog’ . A clear and simple directive from that still, knowing inner voice which I have trained myself to hear and to follow. Eventually. I find this inner voice is often fairly succinct and does not necessarily elaborate on why. So then my ‘not so still’ inner voices get to have a big debate about the said directive, in this case along the lines of , “Yes but what am I supposed to blog ABOUT? What do I have to say that someone else would find interesting? What if others don’t like it and criticise it? What is my subject? What does the finished product look like? What is the POINT for goodness sake?”. Silence.
So here I am on my third attempt to follow this simple and clear inner directive to “Start a blog”. I don’t know exactly when the guidance began, however it was sometime after 2006 when I recovered from a seven year bout of chronic fatigue syndrome. Since then I have provided support and information occasionally to others who are suffering from a chronic or chronic fatigue type illness, often referred to me by friends or friends of friends, who were seeking to learn from my experience. I and many others find that these types of illnesses are not the forte of the medical profession and they were mostly unhelpful in my recovery. I first took action on a blog in March 2010, when I asked a friend to set one up for me in WordPress. I wrote three posts, was unsure how to continue and stopped.
Then two years later in March 2012 I wrote an entry in my journal: ” Idea to do a blog with my channelled insights and reflections and use my photos to illustrate – from my walks, connecting to nature. Photo of sunlight and cloud – The light is always there, it is sometimes obscured/covered up by cloud.”
The entry was referring to this photo that I took at South Golden Beach one morning at sunrise. As my journal entry in March 2012 stated … the light is always there, it is sometimes obscured or covered up by cloud…or self doubt.
Another two years later in April this year as my health became an issue again and I entered a period of change and healing, that same quiet still, patient and persistent inner voice counselled me to ‘”Start a blog”. Okay already. I have found in life when things present again and again that perhaps there may be something in it! I wanted ‘THE BLOG” to be delivered to me fully formed and clear and ‘perfect’ to avoid the spectre of external criticism. That old chestnut! I have surrendered at last and will allow the evolving blog itself to reveal to me what it wants to say. I am sure I will learn a lot along the way as I listen to that still quiet voice.
Do your voices of fear and doubt sometimes override your inner ‘knowing’ or is it just me?